I still haven't cried, for about seven days. I feel it... how it all... gathers inside of me. The silent screams are mixed with those tears of darkness and pain. But I know, that crying makes it all better, easier, lighter... but I can't... just somehow I am not able to lately.

There has been only one tear. One cold tear on my warm human skin. I don't know if anyone ever sees this in me... I don't want others to worry about me. I don't want to burden them, and yet... they protect me. Care for me. I... I don't understand why?.

Most of the times, animes help. They really help, but when there is something familiar to my own self, it is harder and I feel something, I hear something, crashing inside of me. Inside the depth, where no one else can see but me.

Yet there are people, who feel the same that I do. The screaming. The... feeling that you can't name by any name and in no language. I take a deep breathe and try to move on, worrying myself sick over one of my closest friends.

I don't know where I stand at this moment, there is too much going on, and still nothing...