I am nothing as she spoke. 

I am gone in my own delusional matters. 

One cup mulled wine have given me the peace back. 

Where are you?. What is your name?.

Where are you?. Are you alive?.

Over my heart, there is a hurt.

And when she told me those words, the tree in me crashed in this storm.

Since then.

Since then it has bled.

*

You can call it a "love". 

Full of bitter and challenges, that never will exist, anyhow.

There is no use for me. No use, don't lie. No use.

I live only 4 myself, and even then, I waste it away.

There are others, saying what should be done.

Don't hesitate, my child. This is just game.

You are winning it.

Just send them all into the hell.

You ARE winning it.

*

Last times we spoke. 

There was promising energy on one side,

and the other offered only silence.

And still... there is no noise.

"You don't mean a shit to me anymore."

Her words in the plain view.

*

This life is mine, and no one else's.

Not Yours, not Theirs. 

MINE.

After the lack of alcohol in my brain and body,

I will take the tranquilizer and fall into the depths of silent sleep.

There is silence, in me. And it will be, forevermore.