For my mother...

Sorry, that I aint in kolledz or university.
Sorry, that I dropped out from school.
Sorry, that I don't have job.
Sorry, that you pay my unpayed bills.
Sorry, that I aint perfect daughter,
working as a priest, lawyer or a vet.
Sorry, that I am constantly tired
and drowning my own fake happiness.
Sorry, that all I do is smoke and cause trouble.
Sorry, that you are tired from long day of work
and I am watching some stupid show from TV.
Sorry, that I haven't cooked.
Sorry, that I take out the laundry,
take out the dog, wash your dishes.
Sorry, that you aint asking no help.
Sorry, that you have the job and I aint.
Sorry, that the world economy is smashed
and I am just another unemployee.
Sorry, that I have no degree in marketing.

So sorry, that you keep steping on my feelings.
So sorry, that cause of you I feel so low.
So sorry, that you have no idea,
why I cut and twist in rage.
So sorry, that your words make me turn
and wish to drop dead.
So sorry, that your tone wants me
to run away from home again.
So sorry, that I try hard to avoid
heroin, LSD and dope.
So sorry, that I avoid
of how to eat and throw up.
So sorry, that I am afraid
you end up commiting suicide
before I do.
So sorry, that you eat Xanax,
just cause I have ruined your nervs.

You shouldn't have given me no birth,
when all I cause is hurt.
You should've killed me,
as you have killen me from deep inside.
All I ask is respect and hope,
but all I get
is another crack in my broken cocoon.

11//09//2009
MHK.