03. December. 2010

Music :: KOKIA - Anshin no Naka

When I went to lock the door of our apartment building in the passing of midnight, two hours late, I took the liberty for a smoking brake. There were single nights shining in the night, as I stood under the lamp. Only the wind whispered, and the other sound beside the quietly howling air, my own breathing and falling, glittering snow, was click-click-click against the shed's wooden body.

As I did have minimum access to the computer, the limited time was filled with other things, so I will post these entries later...

Lately all I feel is the feeling of crying, and no Kai... this time I have not said to myself that I can't. I am taking the challenge & let it come over me. I know, though, that in the end there is no use of it, but for a short while it makes me lighter. A lot... lighter & stronger, too.

Talking about Kai and his girl, whom I also love and whom is also my friend, too. Yes, a friend.

There are people, who are also part of my closest range of friends, and don't have the best views about him & her. Then there is this third side, with whom Kai's girl can't get along... So there I am, in the middle of it, but don't get me wrong. This has been fully my own choices, whom to trust, honor and love. You can say that I am a chameleon, I can get along with different kind of people, though it doesn't mean tat I plat to be someone else. Nor I have lied. 

NO!.

One main fact is certain ::

Love doesn't choose.

Music :: KOKIA - Tomoni

Yes, I come back to this, but I understand that people are worried of me. Try to lessen it and focus more on your life.

I am a big girl & have been for a long time.

I can take care of myself, okay?.

I can't become strong if people keep their focus on me, which makes me focus on their worry, if that even makes any sense here now. Don't want that, and remember, it is not pushing you away. It is simply keeping you safe... as I manage to make many mistakes, or pull out unnecessary drama, since I have way too big mouth, which makes people take my words wrong or//and way too personally. This is the main problem, too, though. People need to get over of everything in general and understand that anything does not revolve around them. That includes everything. xD

So... please my friends, stop pressuring me!. I live my own life, choose my own friends, live through my own mistakes. & even IF I come to ask advice, it doesn't mean that I fully will follow its path. & where I do ask advice, keep in mind that there [in most cases and situations] are not only two sides of people, but much more. Though taking sides is stupid enough, so better remain in safe place :: simply being neutral.

Yet, who I am to tell, what & how you need to act. I have nothing to do with your life and choices you have taken to made, make or about to be done. These are just tips, how to "get along with me", so huss... huss, my child. Better listen the song of murmuring snowflakes, dancing in the wind.

So, no hard feelings, ye?.

=^__^=