Need You...

One person, whom before had no face, is now haunting in my dreams. Most likely he is black skinned young man, and he loves me. I know it. I want him back to my side.

He is the reason, why I haven't commited myself into relationships. I miss him, I love him. He is my twin flame and I have been searching for him, waiting for him. He is the only one, whom can make me whole. He is my second part after all. Without him I am just half, non-functioning energetic system. There are only very few who understand it, sadly. But hey, it is okay. I will be patient and craving, and I know we will meet soon enough. Can't lose the hope, I just can't give up on him nor on my own self as well!.

Wherever you are, a man with such dark skin of honey, come sooner!. I need you. I am in love with you, like I always was past life, and every life before it. Come and find me!. Quick!. Sooner!. Faster!. Please...

* * *

It is raining snow here!. But at least it remains on the ground a little bit longer!. You guys have no idea, how much I love it, adore it, embrace it!. Winter is the only season, where I feel absolutely solid, comfortable and safe. I am able to rest during that time, the pain is relieved by the pureness of the "Death Season". Yet it is never the end. It is always the beginning.

* * *

Few days ago I understood, why I can't find words to write solid stuff in Estonian poems and etc. Because...

... I just don't have a muse. So here I sit, in my mind, all these words driving me crazy. Since I just can't put them out there, in the perfect little lines. I can write only in English, and they are drowning in sadness and gore. These are written out, when I just feel like ripping someone apart. When They are being a nauseus family again.

I need Love to write, I need a Muse to write about it all.