Showing posts with label bädtripp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bädtripp. Show all posts

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Nii ruttu...

nii ruttu ta mind unustaski... tartu oli kui happetripp, mis alguses tundus nõnda tähelepanuväärne ja kaunis, lausa uskumatu... kuid ma ei osanud eales arvata, et sellest järjekordne bädtripp saab...

kokku kukkumine.
oli see kõik uni, silmnähtamatu ja vaevata?.

egoism. valveta jäänud ööd, päevad ja tunded.

arm südames ja arm nahal.
tuhandeid seletamatuid haavu.

ma ei oska tartust kirjutada. ma ei talu, ei taju, mida tunnetangi.
kas on üldse mõtet?. kas ta teab... kas mäletab... kas tahab... tegelikult ei huvita.
või õigupoolest peaks?.

mõttehiiglane või alandlik geniaalsus?.
tegelikkus peitis vale ja valu.

kildudeks kukkus päike ja unustati ta sära.

kui palju on ta mind tegelikult mustanud?.
kui palju ta esitles valet, kui mind esimest korda reetis?.
kas...

... ma ei oska heita pisaraid inimese eest või pärast, kes minule haava lõi...
... ja mina samaga vastasin. eneseheitlik enesekaitkse.

kuulge, ma ei taha enam.
ma ei taha enam tartusse tulla. tegelikult. see valu teeb pimedaks.
niikaua kuni tema on läinud.
niikaua kuni vihm on pesnud puhtaks verest need tänavad.

kuulge, ma ei taha enam.
rääkida sest ajast... ei taha..

või kas ma üldse kunagi sellest rääkinud olen?.
ei taha.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hyper. Hah.

I am up and after about an hour and half I start to walk towards the local bus-station. Yay!. I can get out of the fucking small town that makes me insane.
My bloodpressure and heart is pumping and I feel kind of dizzy and sick, cause I have like 5 COFFEIN TABLETS in. Usually my bloodpressure is about 80-90 and now it is like 115-119. For me this is EXTREMELY HIGH. Yahooooooo. Crazy. I am crazy. But this was the only thing that kept me awake, cause I need to catch my bus before seven o'clock in the freaking morning. This means. Soon.
I just cant stay in one place too long, Im getting hyper and I cant wait til I get out from the house and in the fresh air. Hell Yeah!.


My mp3 musiclist for tomorrow/today. Hell Yeah!.

A Perfect Circle - Mer De Noms (2000)
Blackstrobe - Burn Your Own Church (2007)
Dagö - Dagö (2000)
Fink - Biscuits for Breakfast (2006)
Plus 44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating CD
Tricky-Knowle West Boy (2008) CD

Black Stone Cherry - Maybe Someday
Black Stone Cherry - Shooting Star
blink-182 - Mother's Day (bonus track)
Blink 182 - Adam's Song
Blink 182 - Aliens Exist
Blink 182 - All The Small Things
Blink 182 - Dammit
Blink 182 - Don't
Blink 182 - Down
Blink 182 - Dumpweed
Blink 182 - I Miss You
Blink 182 - Josie
Blink-182 - Peggy Sue
Blink 182 - Sometimes
Blink 182 - Stockholm Syndrome
Blink-182 - Strings
Blink-182 - Wasting Time
Blink 182 - What's My Age Again

Death In Vegas and Iggy Pop- Aisha
Drowning Pool - Bodies (vrenna xxx mix)

Faster Pussycat - Big Dictionary
Faster Pussycat - I Was Made For Loving U
Faster Pussycat - Where There's A Whip There's A Way

Gavin Rossdale - Adrenaline
Guns N' Roses - Cats in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon
Guns N' Roses - Knockin' On Heavens Door
Guns N' Roses - Night Train
Guns N' Roses - Paradise City
Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child Of Mine
Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the Jungle

Hatebreed - I Will Be Heard

Iggy Pop - Lust For Life
Iggy Pop - Private Hell
Iggy Pop & The Stooges - Heroin
Iggy Pop & The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog
Iggy Pop & White Zombie - Black Sunshine
I Mother Earth - Juicy

Kill Hannah - Lips Like Morphine
KoRn - Another Brick In The Wall
KoRn - Evolution
KoRn - Falling Away From Me
KoRn - Word Up

LA Guns - Frequency
LA Guns - Over the Edge

Moby - Landing

NERD (The Neptunes) - Truth or Dare

OT3P - Autopsy Song
OT3P - Battle Ready
OT3P - Buried Alive
OT3P - Confrontation
OT3P - Crooked Spoons
OT3P - Fillthee
OT3P - Home Grown
OT3P - Hooks & Splinters
OT3P - House of Secrets
OT3P - Invisible
OT3P - March of the Martyrs
OT3P - Menocide
OT3P - Milk of Regret
OT3P - My Confession
OT3P - Nein
OT3P - Noose and Nail
OT3P - Possession
OT3P - Self Made
OT3P - Special Pets
OT3P - The Lord Is My Weapon
OT3P - T.R.I.C.

Pulkas - Control
Pulkas - Hippy Fascist
Pulkas - Rubber Room
Pulkas - This Is It

Rammstein - Feuer Frei

She Wants Revenge - Black Liner Run
She Wants Revenge - I Don't Want To Fall In Love
She Wants Revenge - Out Of Control
She Wants Revenge - Sister
She Wants Revenge - Tear You Apart
She Wants Revenge - What I Want
Side Effect X - Get Off Me
Side Effect X - Golden Skies
Sister Sin - Hostile-Violent
Sister Sin - Love-Hate
Sister Sin - Switchblade Serenade
Skunk Anansie - And here I stand
Skunk Anansie - And this is nothing that i thought i had
Skunk Anansie - It takes blood and guts to be this cool but I'm still just a cliche
Skunk Anansie - Only You - Infidelity
Skunk Anansie - On my hotel TV
Skunk Anansie - Little baby swastikkka
Skunk Anansie - Milk Si My Sugar
Skunk Anansie - Selling Jesus
Skunk Anansie - Yes It's Fucking Political
Stolen Babies - A Year of Judges
Stolen Babies - Push Button
Stolen Babies - Tablescrap
Stolen Babies - The Button Has Been Pushed